I am wishing I was great

*sigh* I'm really annoyed with my life right now.

I can't hate myself any more than I do right now. I swear it! I can't. I can't remember a time in which I felt this horrible with my life. I can't stand this. It's all his fault! He's made things hell for me. I can't get over it. I can't stop thinking about his words. Oh well. I need to find a way to start liking myself.

I need to start painting again. Or use my chalks that my mommy got me. I'm not doing many things that helped me before. I'm not even playing magic much. I guess I'll keep going though. I think I might pick up on it more again. But I really need to do some art. I will start that again tomorrow. I can't wait!

I'm thinking I might want to move with Beth and Mom when they both move to Washington. I don't know why. Maybe because I'll be far from Steve. Nobody wants to live by him. I just don't know what I'd do if they moved... Where would I go? Beth talked about them moving there when Tufi gets home. Not sure how that's going to work. I don't want to move far from my friends.

I would like to go to a show Monday. Jedi said he'd go with me, but God! I don't want to be stuck with him and his wife. That will just be weird. Maybe I'll find somebody to go hang out with me while I'm there. Any of you want to go? I don't remember the band's name. The one who's messaged me on MySpace. Them. Anyway, I said I'd go. So I wanted to go. Bad thing is... I've never heard 'em. My comp won't play the music on MySpace. Oh well, eh?

Anyway, I was planning on going to Alkaline, but now it seems as though there's no way I'm going. I have NO money. Plus, nobody to go with. Sad. I was really excited when I heard about this show. Oh well. Another time.

AH!!! Not only am I going to miss Alkaline, but today I officially missed my chance to see Relient K!! I'm so sad! I really want to see them! Maybe they'll come back. I hope so. That would be great! I would get my tickets so fast!!! ... Like I wanted to do with Alkaline. Damn.

All right, I think that's about all I have to say. Sorry for complaining about my dad again. He just ticks me off a lot.

Have fun!